Reviews by Xanadon't

Probably my favorite rain-jacket film of all time. Also a darn good horror flick. Some solid death scenes, gripping-- or comical-- struggles, whichever you like, and excellent music. The final 5 minutes alone are worth the price of admission. Brilliant. All in all definately worthy of its classic status. Not so vital that you deserve to be made fun of if you haven't seen it, but close. Probably just watch it to be on the safe side.

There is plenty wrong with The Boondock Saints, including the film's general attitude toward pretty much everything. This is about as self-indulgent as film-making gets, and try as I might I just can't derive the same pleasure out of it all as those involved. That said, there are enough guilty humor moments (though an equal number of unsuccessful attempts) and fresh action sequences to ward off outright failure. This is no where near the brilliant film its outspoken, fake-Boston Red Sox-fan, can't wait for the next Transporter movie, blow-hard fanboys would lead you to believe. Nor is it the vile, trash-as-a-style, empty excercise in faux-machismo that the high-brow critics make it out to be. In the end Booddock Saints is a somewhat applaudable effort to spice up a genre that sorely needed to be revitalized, with as many misses as hits. This is a poor-- bankrupt? --man's Tarantino film, that ought never be mentioned in the same sentence as The Departed, but still an acceptable way to pass a couple of rainy afternoon hours.

Spectacular on-location shooting and a relatively strong build-up that allows us to become familiar with our vacationing trio can't save this film from becoming just another unimaginative, uncomfortably misoginistic disregard for audiences' sense of intelligence and taste. What a shame. I was really hoping Wolf Creek would have something to say, but the only thing to be heard is a hollow echo of other recent torture-happy horror miscues that preceded it. Wolf Creek is thinly disguised as a serial-killer film: the backstory to our villian is begrudgingly and blandly offered up only because the director recognizes the need for some kind of plot-structure. To him it only stands in the way of more emotionally empty, artistically and morally destitute torture/rape material. To the audience, however, this should arrive as a frustration. John Jaratts performance is strong. Strong enough that far more attention ought to have been given his character and backstory. Instead he's quickly turned into a one-dimentional vehicle for terror. The lead actress turns in a strong performance too, far better than the film deserved. Unintelligent, uninspired choices cost this film dearly, in a way that no amount of technical skill could make up for.

Event Horizon is a prime example of a highly derivative movie that eventually begins to find its own identity and then promptly fucks that identity up. There's a lot pulled from both Alien and Space Odyssey here (but what Sci-fi films haven't those movies influenced?) both visually and thematically. By the time this film asserts itself with some fresh ideas it no sooner derails into a formulatic horror film, pulsing with generic writing, cheesy one-liners and high-speed flashes of gore. Toss in a bit of Hellraiser (which I loved) a hefty dash of From Beyond (which I wasn't crazy about) and too many cookie-cutter, phantom-exciting action sequences and were left with a mildly disappointing sci-fi horror that will likely be mostly forgotten with time. Can't say I'm upset I watched it-- there is some fun to be had and I'm pretty forgiving in the Sci-fi department. And the "We're leaving" line is one of the greatest things in the history of film. The rest...meh.

Utterly awful. There is no compelling reason to see this. None. Not one. Feast is fucking bad. Everything about it is bad. The acting is bad. The script is very bad. The editing and camera work are worse than bad. Intollerable might be the word. This is probably worse than the worst movie you've watched this year. And it's not scary. It's disgusting throughout. But never in any creative, intelligent, cool, or shocking way. Just in a poor-taste, pre-adolescent, missed (by a fucking mile) attempt at twisted humor kind of way. God, and the story is total shit. As are all the characters. As are the creatures. As is the ending. I'm telling you, complete garbage from start to finish.

Apocalypse Now is a contemplative, nightmarish, powerful piece of cinema with a lot on its mind. Inspired in part by Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness, the film follows Capt. Willard upriver in his mission to locate and dispatch Col. Kurtz, a once decorated soldier and officer of impeccable standing, now untethered by his identity as a U.S. soldier and citizen, surrounded by shadowy myth and speculation. Using Viet Nam as its setting, Coppola focuses on the absurdity, chaos, and yes, horror, of contemporary warfare. As we travel further upriver, and further into the dark, philosophical core of the film, the focus shifts from warfare and engages more and more in an existential interrogation of the human condition. Unsettling surreal segments collide with fierce and brutal realism and Coppola packs immense visceral power into frame after frame of this stunning work with the artistry of a true master. Ghosts of Albert Camus and Franz Kafka seem to be fluttering all about this film and if you're familiar with the way one of our great contemporary storytellers, Tim O'brien, tells his war stories, I think you'll find easy comparisons there as well. Apocalypse Now is a true masterpiece that excels in every technical and artistic aspect of film to achieve a whole even greater than the sum of its parts.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow is a mouthful of title and the film itself is an eyeful of spectacle. Shot (almost?) entirely with digital backgrounds behind its live actors, Sky Captain casts all reality aside and instead makes imagination and nostalgia its playground. Parts comic book, film noir, Star Wars, Duck Tales episode, and search for Dr. Livingston, Sky Captain is an adventure of unabashadly joyful proportions that at times flirts with utterly fantastic without ever quite getting there. (If I'm truthful, a good deal of its energy does run out before the landing strip comes into sight). The cynic in me finds plenty of other problems in this film, but a wistfully generous viewing should find much to enjoy and marvel at here. Seeing this for the very first time (In terms of boxoffice performance I strongly suspect its PG rating hurt this film more than ANYTHING else) I went into this film without a lot of expectation one way or the other, knowing only with a fair amount of confidence that this isn't typically my type of film. That said, I still found myself hooked early on. If you are like me and like liking movies, I suggest you put your suspension of disbelief in auto-pilot and just sit back and enjoy the ride. This one really will reward you for it most of the way through.

Generally a fan of Todd Solondzs' work, I figured going back and finally watching his first feature-legth film would be worthwhile. Not the case. Dollhouse is the very definition of product of the 90's. A very angsty film that was met with a lot of critical praise smack center in the decade when angst was in vogue. While this is an impressive debut film in all technical regards, I highly doubt that it would receive much attention if released today. Simply put, it's just not important enough. The satire is really not that cutting or illuminating, and the humor is far too mean-spirited to ever really be enjoyable. This is a film about pain. The awkward social pains of a seventh-grade girl and the deep, burning pains of a crippled self-identity. Solondz expertly shows us how our lead character has arrived at this place, but fails in revealing anything meaningful, or disclosing any truths we haven't known all along. His efforts seem a bit forced and overly-conscious in his dealings with trying to tell this 14-year-old girls story in a convincing way. I hear something resembling the ring of truth, but it's pitch is slightly off. There are a few strong scenes sprinkled throughout this film, but the overall effect is less than startling, provocative, or rewarding in any wothwhile way.

Honestly and easily one of the best films I've seen released in the last few years. The Fall is unlike anything I've ever seen before, certainly vastly different from any American release to come out in a long time. Truly a joyful viewing experience and a thoughtful, fantastic celebration of the imagination. Filmed in 28 different countries, The Fall is a lush and grand spectacle, breath-taking in its scope and beauty. As hospital bed-ridden Roy tells 6-year-old Alexandria (Top 5 child-actor performances of all time. Hands down) his epic story their imaginations combine to take viewers to places they've never dreamed; their striking humanity moves us in far different ways, but to equally great levels of satisfaction. I can't recommend this over-looked film highly enough. Be sure to see it, and parents/lame-os, don't let the R rating fool you. How the MPAA determined this an R I'll never understand.

"This is bullshit. We had a deal! A deal based on fitness. Im the fittest climber out here!"-- And that's, bottom-line, all you really need to know about this film. Though, I should say that the on-location filming and cinematography go a long way in this movie. But then again, the awful, awful music and sub-par acting go a long way in canceling those things out. K2 isn't horrible and for a while I really considered awarding a fifth star, but I'm sure there's a National Geographic special out there somewhere that's better worth your while.